Weight Worries

Ever since she hit 6 months, Gwena's weight gain has slowed down dramatically. She's always been small, but at least before she was growing well. Now, not so much. At 9 months old she has just hit 15 lbs. When people ask her age, they usually say something like, "How old is she, like 5 months?" She is wearing size 2 diapers and size 6 months clothes.

We've changed enzyme brands, finding that Pancrecarb works better for her than Creon. Because Pancrecarb isn't being manufactured anymore until they get FDA approval, we tried Zenpep, and she didn't do as well on it. Now we're back on Pancrecarb until the pharmacy runs out.

Lately we've been trying really hard to get her to gain more weight. I've been nursing her more frequently, 6 times a day if I can manage it. After she nurses, I give her solids, which I've now begun to add olive oil to to add extra calories. She's very active and loves to crawl, stand, and bounce, and I guess it's going to take a lot of food to overcome all that calorie burning.

When we go to CF clinic, I feel like I'm going in to take a midterm or something. It feels like it's my personal achievement or failure if she has or hasn't gained enough weight. When the dietitian tells us she needs to be gaining more, it feels like I'm being scolded by a teacher for slacking. Right now, my deadline is July 14th, the date of our next clinic visit. I have until then to try to get Gwena's weight up, so I don't get an F.

I wish I didn't feel so guilty when she doesn't gain enough weight. I know I work hard every day to feed her and give her her enzymes and other medicines, but it still feels like I'm the one to blame even though I know it's really CF's fault. I don't want to blame myself for the effects of this disease. I'll just keep fighting CF as hard as I can every day. I'll do all I can, and then I'll do even more. Hopefully on July 14th, when I lay her on the scale, we will get an A+!